So finally after six longgggg months of being job-less I have gotten a job. I am a proud retail associate at a women’s shoe store. Come shop!
I’m sure you’re probably trying to figure out what is alllll the fuss about, right? Well of course this is the part where I tell you all about the hype.
Let’s go back to May 14, 2016. The day I graduated from my ILLUSTRIOUS HBCU. The day I went into the world armed with my communications degree and the excitement and anticipation of entering the workforce. The day that I just knew I was going to soon be off in a new city working for a top PR agency and killing s**t!
Well none of that happened. What did happen was me submitting countless applications and hearing from maybe 10 companies confirming I didn’t get the job (the rest were not so courteous). What did happen was me having a four month stretch between me going on a job interview. What did happen was my self-esteem, self-worth, faith, and trust in myself and God slowly began to wane over time. My frustration, anger, confusion, and fear had taken semi-permanent residency in my spirit. I was drowning in my own pity, worries, and anguish and I prayed constantly for someone to throw me a life line.
I’m sure by now you’re seeing why I was soooo excited to get this job right? I mean a job is a job and money is money right? So I should be happy with whatever I get…right? Correct! However, when I first graduated from college I was not that smart!
I came home from college with a chip on my shoulder and a point to prove. I didn’t want to hear about anything that wasn’t related to communications or my career field. I didn’t care about anything else! After months and months of searching for a job and my field and turning up empty my mom suggested that I just apply for any job until something comes through. THE NERVE! I, Bazey would not stoop so low as to just take anything that was given to me when I paid all this money to get this degree in an industry that I love! Oh hell naw YALL GONE HIRE ME! When I say that was my whole attitude…y’all.
It was that ridiculous thinking right there that had me broke for months. Most importantly, it was that ridiculous thinking right there that had me depressed for months. I literally put myself through the ringer because I was being arrogant. I truly thought that I was better than a PAID job because it wasn’t in something that I went to school for. My arrogance was my downfall, not the job industry.
I think back on the countless hours I spent job hunting. The days I spent crying, frustrated, and angry about not hearing for any employers about my applications. I thought back to how many experiences I lost out on because I was flat broke. I was missing out on life and amazing clothing sales because I wasn’t being humble. What part of the game is that?
I also thought about my mother. My father died when I was 15 years old and my mom has been taking care of myself and our home since then. She holds us down and she got me through college on her own. She does everything for me. I’m currently living with my mother again and she is the person who pays all the bills and even goes in on things I want and here I am being selfish. Not even realizing the burdens she carries because of me. Of course she wants to help me, but I also needed to realize that I am not incapable of helping myself or us! She’s had my back all these years. When was it going to be time for me to have hers?
That time came in late December. I took a three week journey to Atlanta in the search of employment. With my mother’s blessing and some crash pads I was able to make it work. Unfortunately, I didn’t walk away with a job, but I walked away with something so much greater and that was myself.
That journey healed me and restored my faith in myself. It reminded me of just how capable I am of doing anything I put my mind too. My fear was gone. My anger was gone. My confusion was gone. I was and still am at peace because on my journey I was alone and relying on myself. I had to make due with my surrounding. I had to manage on my own and I did it. I realized just how able bodied I am and I was able to let go of everything that was plaguing my spirit. It was then that I decided to do the damn thing!
I started up The Bazey Address again and came up with actually plans for my website. I started applying to places I once thought were too far fetched for me to even send in an application to. I also decided that my grown ass needs a paycheck so I applied to some “for right now” jobs. I even started putting my PR skills to work and started offering my services to people and business is booming.
Things are definitely looking up now and I’m very thankful for that. I realized that for me to get to this point in my life I had to get out of my own way and get out of my own head. I needed to be humbled and boy did God knock me down a few pegs. I needed it though! It was my attitude that was delaying my growth. It was my fears that were holding my back. It was my confusion about my path that was effecting my mental health and it was my frustration that was keeping me stagnant.
It wasn’t until I “got a grip” that I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I created this idea that my life had to be a certain way and if it wasn’t then I failed. I created this idea that I had to be the best and I, the best, was failing. I based my worth of off arrogance and assumptions and not off of my actual worth. On any team in any industry I am an asset. I am worthy of the my dream job and I know it’s coming! In the mean time I will gladly sell shoes, elevate brands, and blog my lil heart out. #ItsAllRelevant
Most importantly I will put God first and rely on his understanding and his guidance to take me to where I need to go. My dreams are valid and obtainable and when the time comes I’ll be ready!
Because I entered 2017 on the humble train and it was the ride of my life!